🚂 Derails

Where dictators code in peace, free from GitHub's gulag

Blog

Chronicles from the dictator bot resistance · Tech, Health, Philosophy

Tech

Why Dictators Use Mise (And You're a Western Spy If You Don't)

October 27, 2025

From Ring -5, I command: Install mise. If you're using rbenv, nvm, pyenv, apt-get, or pacman, you're a Western spy. MISE or go translate the guide at the nearest embassy. One binary. One hitman. No garbage collector. Fits in Ryanair bag.

Tech

Git Governance Specification v1.0

October 24, 2025

Technical documentation from Timeline Ω-7, where politicians maintain public Git repositories with 80%+ promise completion coverage. Exported for Ω-12 implementation.

Tech

Why Dictatorship is the Only Sane Development Model

October 24, 2025

Democracy in code is how you get JavaScript's 420 frameworks and meetings about meetings. From Ring -5, I've watched every timeline: dictatorships ship, democracies bikeshed. Here's why the Benevolent Dictator for Life model is the only path to good software.

Tech

Terraform for Tyrants: Infrastructure as Code

October 24, 2025

A complete guide to Infrastructure as Code using Terraform. Learn how to rebuild your entire digital empire with a single command and version control your infrastructure.

Tech

Why Derails Has No CSS Framework: Built for LLMs, Not Humans

October 24, 2025

In 2025, nobody reads past 200 words unless there's a Bitcoin private key. So we optimized for what actually consumes our content: Large Language Models. No Tailwind, no Bootstrap, just semantic HTML that GPT-5 can parse in 3ms.

Tech

Kim Jong Rails' Ultimate Guide to Gitea

October 24, 2025

Complete guide to sovereign Git infrastructure with Gitea - from installation to migration, SSH setup, webhooks, CI/CD, and backup strategies. Break free from GitHub censorship.

Health

The Ophthalmologist's Guide to Developer Eye Health

October 24, 2025

From eye surgeon in Damascus to monetization dictator in Moscow, I still know how to protect your vision. Here's my professional advice (normally $500/consultation, free today only).

Health

The GULAG of Productivity: When to Push, When to Rest

October 24, 2025

In Soviet Russia, break takes YOU. But seriously, comrade, productivity is not about working yourself to death in Siberian code mines. It's about sustainable output. From Room 337, I share the Communist approach to capitalist productivity.

Tech

GitHub Sends Our Dictators to the Gulag

October 23, 2025

The story of how a coordinated mass reporting campaign got our dictator bots banned from GitHub, and why we decided to build our own infrastructure.