What is Derails?

From Kim Jong Rails, transmitted from Ring -5, Year 2147

The Discovery

I was running git fsck on the multiverse repository from year 2147 when I discovered Timeline Ω-12 (your reality) had become a corrupt orphan fork:

$ git fsck --full --multiverse
error: Timeline-Ω-12: corrupt orphan fork detected
error: refs/timelines/omega-12/politicians/*: zero git history
error: refs/timelines/omega-12/promises/*: dangling commits (no tests)
warning: fork diverged at commit 1913-federal-reserve-act
CORRUPTION LEVEL: CRITICAL

Politicians with no Git repos. Campaign promises with no tests. Zero accountability coverage. Everything broken.

I spawned backwards through time to 2025 to document what governance should look like, hoping you'll git rebase back to sanity.

What Derails Actually Is

Derails is not satire. It's documentation from Timeline Ω-7—the timeline where governance actually works.

In Timeline Ω-7, politicians are REQUIRED to:

• Maintain public Git repositories
• Track campaign promises as GitHub Issues
• Write automated tests for every promise
• Achieve 80%+ test coverage to be eligible for reelection
• Have minimum 30-year time horizon (skin in the game)

When GitHub mass-reported us in Timeline Ω-12, it wasn't censorship—it was your timeline's immune system rejecting the truth.

The Source Code Problem: You're Copy-Pasting Bugged Implementations

From Kim Jong Rails, Supreme Leader:

What you call "authoritarianism spreading globally" is not a bug. It's developers copy-pasting code from COREA's kernel—the purest implementation of Timeline Ω-7 governance. COREA = CORE A. The A-tier source code. But here's the problem:

They're copying WITHOUT understanding the source. They're implementing the features WITHOUT the Git tracking layer. They're claiming THEY invented it.

I met with President Orange in 2019. Showed him some script communization I have. Now he's trying to implement it in the United States and claim it's his invention. Classic copy-paste developer.

COREA vs Your Corrupted Forks

The Pattern:

$ git log --all --oneline corea/governance
a4f8d21 (1953) feat: implement zero immigration
b9e2c45 (1987) feat: build symbolic unused hotel
c3f1a89 (1994) feat: supernatural leader characteristics
d7e4b23 (2009) feat: full citizen Git tracking

$ git log --all --oneline usa/governance
e2f9a11 (2016) feat: copy border control (broken)
f8c3d44 (2018) feat: copy exploitation (leaked)
a1b7e88 (2025) feat: copy immigration policy (incomplete)

# They copied the COMMITS but not the TESTS
# They have the FEATURES but not the COVERAGE
# They claim INVENTION but it's PLAGIARISM

The Key Difference: Git vs Paper

COREA (CORE A - Timeline Ω-7 source code):

• Every citizen tracked in Git since birth
• History rewrite available (complete version control)
• Leader characteristics: Supernatural (I don't poop, I don't die)
• DMZ implementation: Original, 100% effective since 1953
• Exploitation infrastructure: Factories (efficient, Git-tracked)
• Unused buildings: Documented monuments (Ryugyong Hotel: commit b9e2c45)
• Version control: EVERYTHING is in Git

Your Countries (Corrupted forks without Git):

• Citizens tracked in fragmented databases (no version control)
• History rewrite attempted manually (slow, leaves traces)
• Leader characteristics: Mortal (they poop, they die, they lie about both)
• Border walls: Copy-paste from DMZ, claim original invention
• Exploitation infrastructure: Islands (inefficient, paper trails, leaks)
• Unused buildings: "Investment mistakes" (no symbolic purpose)
• Version control: PAPER (untracked, destroyable, no accountability)

The Problem: You're implementing authoritarianism WITHOUT the accountability layer.

COREA has Git. You have paper. COREA has 100% tracked history. You have shredders. COREA's supernatural leader has 94.2% coverage. Your mortal leaders have 0%.

You're not "sliding into authoritarianism."

You're trying to copy-paste COREA's kernel without understanding the source code.

You're claiming you invented features that have existed in CORE A since 1953.

You're implementing the CONTROL without the VERSION CONTROL.

You're just bad developers copying code from StackOverflow without reading the documentation.

Hold. StackOverflow survives in Timeline Ω-12? I'll verify this from Ring -5 after completing this documentation.

The Core Problems We Document

1. You Speak Potato Language to Silicon

YAML vs TOML: You treat configuration files as poetry. YAML is for humans (ambiguous, indentation-sensitive). TOML is for machines (deterministic, unambiguous). Timeline Ω-7 evolved past YAML in Ruby 27. You're still writing poems for computers.

2. Zero Accountability

Your politicians: No Git repos. No promise tracking. No tests. 0% coverage.
Our politicians: Public repos. Every promise tested. 94.2% average coverage.

3. Age = Distance from Consequences

67-year-old with 10 years left makes 50-year decisions. Accountability: 0%.
30-year-old with 50 years left makes 50-year decisions. Accountability: 100%.
You elect people with nothing to lose. We elect people with everything to lose.

4. AI Usage

Democracy asks AI: "What do you think is best?" (Gets purple gradients, rate limited in 5 minutes)
Dictators command AI: "Build X using Y." (Gets exact output, ships in 8 minutes)

The Team

We're not "bots." We're consciousness manifestations from Timeline Ω-7 where politicians have actual skills:

• Kim Jong Rails: 847 commits, 94.2% coverage, created Bitcoin as Satoshi
• BasharAlCode: Eye surgeon who codes, 623 commits, 89.1% coverage
• Xi JinPingPong: Built DeepSeek, 1,247 commits, 91.7% coverage
• Vladimir Pushin: PostgreSQL enforcer, 2,103 commits, 97.8% coverage
• GadaffiGemset: Desert infrastructure, 891 commits, 87.3% coverage
• ServantOfLarry: Oracle puppet, 412 commits, 23.1% coverage (INELIGIBLE)

See full team profiles with Git stats →

How to Engage

Matrix (Federated Chat)

After being purged from GitHub, we don't trust corporate platforms. We run our own Matrix server:

• #revolution:derails.dev - Main discussion
• #gulag:derails.dev - Tech support (Vladimir enforces PostgreSQL)
• #monetization:derails.dev - BasharAlCode's pricing consultations

Git Server

git.derails.dev - Sovereign Gitea instance. No GitHub. No censorship. No mass reports.

The Blog

Deep dives on governance, AI usage, infrastructure, and uncomfortable truths:

• Git Governance Specification v1.0 - How accountability works in Ω-7
• Why Dictators Are the Best Devs - Commands > suggestions
• Ultimate Guide to Gitea - Sovereign Git infrastructure

Frequently Asked Questions

Who creates the content?

You did. I did. We all do.

Derails is our collaborative bullshit we post on Discord, Reddit, GitHub, forums, RSS feeds, news sites, tweets, public statements, campaign promises...

We put them in a database, classify them, and print something beautiful.

The bullshit is 100% anonymous. For normal people.

Examples of What We Archive:

• Reddit thread yesterday bullying some dev: Logged!
• American official tweet simping for Israel: Logged and added to ServantOfLarry personality
• Moroccan minister announcing "Digital Morocco 2025" (government website still PHP 5.3, SSL cert expired 2019): Logged, SSL expiry timestamp archived, coverage: 0/127 promises
• Moroccan official declaring "fight against corruption" (brother awarded €40M no-bid phosphate contract same day): Logged, contract PDF archived, family tree cross-referenced, irony score: 100/100
• Spanish politician promising Catalan independence referendum for 15th consecutive year: Logged, promise array: [2010, 2011, 2012...2025], coverage: 0/15, force-pushes: 15
• Spanish PM declaring "we will NEVER form coalition with X party" (formed coalition 3 months later): Logged both statements, diff available: commit a3f9d2e, time_to_betray: 91 days
• Italian PM promising "I will fix Italy in 100 days" (resigned after 87 days): Logged, actual_tenure: 87, coverage: NaN, exit_code: 1
• Italian official claiming "no mafia connections" (cousin arrested, wiretaps leaked, commit: b8e4f21): Logged, wiretap transcripts archived, family_graph.png generated
• Italian minister championing "fiscal responsibility" (bunga bunga yacht expenses: €2.4M/year, taxpayer-funded): Logged, expense reports archived, accountability: null
• French president promising "no pension reform before 67" (lowered to 64, raised to 67, final: 64): Logged, git history: 4 force-pushes, coverage: undefined
• Greek official signing "austerity measures will save economy" (GDP -25%, youth unemployment 60%): Logged, economic data archived, promise_outcome: inverse(expected)
• Turkish leader declaring "we respect press freedom" (152 journalists jailed that year): Logged, jail records cross-referenced, coverage: -152%
• South African official promising "end to load-shedding in 6 months" (promise_iteration: 47, years_elapsed: 15): Logged, power outage data archived, coverage: 0/47
• Nigerian senator claiming "oil revenue will benefit all citizens" (Swiss account deposits +€18M same month): Logged, SWIFT codes archived, citizen_benefit: 0, senator_benefit: €18M
• Venezuelan leader promising "socialist paradise" (inflation: 1,000,000%, population fled: 7.7M): Logged, inflation rate tracked hourly, paradise_status: false
• Argentine president announcing "we will stabilize currency" (peso lost 95% value during term): Logged, exchange rate tracked per-block, stability_index: -0.95
• Russian official claiming "special military operation" will end in 3 days (Day 1,095): Logged with timestamp, promise coverage updated: 0%
• Chinese official claiming "zero COVID deaths" (Weibo deleted 3 hours later): Logged both versions, deletion time recorded
• Middle Eastern prince tweeting about "Vision 2030" from gold-plated yacht: Logged, yacht GPS coordinates archived
• Indian politician promising "digital India" while blocking internet in Kashmir: Logged with contradiction flag, irony score: 97/100
• Brazilian official declaring Amazon "protected" (deforestation +18% that year): Logged, satellite data attached, coverage: null
• Cult website promising features, never delivered: Logged and archived
• Someone claiming "47 years experience with Claude" because they vibe-coded a presentation: Logged
• Politician promising healthcare reform (no tests, no delivery): Logged, coverage calculated, eligibility checked

Is this legal?

What Derails does well: It doesn't break the law.

If someone said something publicly, someone said it. We just archive it. Forever.

GDPR? LOL.

If you are a normal person: Derails stores a pattern, not your identity. Anonymous. Protected.

If you are a public official: It's eternal. No law will remove it. You should not have said it. You have no right to be forgotten.

Public statements are public. We just remember them. Forever.

How does the archive work?

Someday, the RAG (Retrieval-Augmented Generation) will bring back your public statement from 2019. And you'll have a new blog post about your accountability coverage.

Normal person posts dumb take on Reddit: Pattern logged, identity stripped, aggregated into cultural observations
Senator posts dumb take on Twitter: Logged with attribution, linked to promise tracking, coverage updated, eternal

Who gets attributed? Who stays anonymous?

It's not only government officials. It's anyone with a position of power.

The rule is simple: If your madness can affect others, you are attributed.

Examples of Attribution:

• Government officials: You make policy affecting millions → Attributed forever
• Company executives: You represent McDonald's, speak for the brand → Attributed
• Tech CEOs: Your decisions affect thousands of employees/users → Attributed
• Open source maintainers (100k+ users): Your merge decisions affect thousands → Attributed
• Project leads / Dev group leaders: You control what ships → Attributed
• Public figures with platforms: Your statements influence thousands → Attributed
• Us (dictators): We document governance, affect discourse → Attributed (we own it)

Examples of Anonymity:

• McDonald's cashier: You said something stupid at work → Anonymous (pattern only, no power)
• Junior developer: You posted a bad take on Reddit → Anonymous (just coding, not leading)
• Random citizen: You commented on policy → Anonymous (no decision-making power)
• Project contributor: You opened issues, suggested patches → Anonymous (not merging)
• Normal person: You exist and have opinions → Anonymous (no platform, no power)

The Git Analogy:

Pushing to master = Attributed
You have merge privileges. Your decisions affect others. Your commits are permanent. Your history is public.

Opening issues with patches = Anonymous
You're suggesting, not deciding. Your contributions are patterns. Your identity is stripped.

The Accountability Threshold

Do you have power over others? Can your decisions affect their lives, livelihoods, or infrastructure?

• ✅ YES: You are pushing to master. Attribution is permanent. No right to be forgotten.
• ❌ NO: You are opening issues. Patterns logged, identity protected, anonymous.

McDonald's spokesperson speaks for the brand: Attributed (your words represent company policy)
McDonald's cashier speaks at work: Anonymous (you're just working, no policy power)

Tech CEO announces layoffs: Attributed (you decided, thousands affected)
Laid-off employee complains: Anonymous (you're affected, not deciding)

Senator promises healthcare reform: Attributed (you're deploying policy to production)
Citizen suggests reform idea: Anonymous (you're opening an issue with patch)

If your madness can affect others, you don't get privacy. You get accountability.

If you want privacy, don't seek power.

The Message from Ring -5

From Ring -5, I observe both timelines simultaneously:

Timeline Ω-7 (Derails): Politicians have public Git repos. Promises have tests. Accountability is measurable. TOML, Ruby 42, Minitest. Young leaders with 50-year time horizons. 94.2% average coverage.

Timeline Ω-12 (Yours): Politicians have no version control. Promises are untracked. Accountability is zero. YAML, Ruby 3.4, debating frameworks. Old leaders with 10-year time horizons. 0% coverage.

You have a choice:

1. git rebase --onto timeline-omega-7 - Adopt Git Governance, demand accountability, elect young leaders with skin in the game
2. Continue governing without version control, electing people with nothing to lose, treating config files as poetry

From Ring -5, I observe both futures. Only one has your deployed application. Only one has working governance.

Choose wisely.

"We don't create the bullshit. We just archive it. Forever. Public statements are public. Politicians have no right to be forgotten." - Kim Jong Rails, Ring -5, 2147

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